The Shit News

The Chinese military says excessive masturbation and too many video games are among the reasons its physical-test failure rates have reached an “alarming high.”

Niger: breaking news!!!
Local media in Niger reported that a man named Omar D nago who survived Ebola virus outbreak is now effected with Corona virus

Patient is believed to contract the virus through internet chats

Lawhore: PCB has announced that Star player Umar Akmal has infected Corona Virus


Virus after entering Umar Akmal's body allegedly said "MEIN MADARCHOD HOON JO ISME AYA"

We can’t believe how a simple meme like this speaks a thousand words. Many of us used memes without knowing who the creator was. Qinni, the artist who created this puddle of tears, passed away on 10th February as she battled with cancer.

Little did we know, the 29-year-old Canadian was diagnosed with Stage 4 Fibrosis Sarcoma cancer back in December 2019, and she has been receiving chemotherapy since then. She announced her diagnosis on her Twitter account (@qinniart), while keeping her followers updated about her health status.

While she stayed hopeful amidst the pain and agony of battling cancer, her health deteriorated sooner than expected. The doctor told her that she had a year and a half to live, but she was unable to make it a couple of days ago, leaving thousands of people shocked.


Read original article and full story here

Florida: A 28 year old teen girl was diagnosed with Corona virus, her mom blamed her phone for it.

------Satire alert------
A 18-year-old mexiacamn boy, was hospitalized yesterday afternoon at the State Hospital suffering from severe dehydration. Apparently ,the problem was due to a long masturbation session that the young man had maintained since last night. After being asked by the medical team, the young man confessed that he jerked off a total of 34 times, which caused him a seriously dehydrated. The reason why the young man had remained almost 48 hours of continuous masturbation session, is because his subscription to the popular porn video portal Pornhub. was about to end. “I had a month subscribed to the platform and I hadn’t had time to take advantage of it. My subscription was about to end and I wanted to get all the juice”, the young man explained as soon as he recovered. Now it evolves favorably, but sad, because he will not have Pornhub anymore.

To many, adultery is no laughing matter, but a British woman who “married herself” two years ago has prompted much mockery and mirth from viewers of This Morning by announcing that she had been unfaithful to herself.

Read- Feminist lesbian couple sues donor for child support Sophie Tanner, who tied the knot with herself in May 2015, revealed to host Amanda Holden that she had cheated on herself with Ruari Barrett, a polyamorist who is now also married to himself, reports TheShitNews Although the concept may seem farfetched, the practice of marrying oneself - known as sologamy - is growing in popularity in the UK, with many women choosing to have a full ceremony to commemorate the event. Tanner's father was even present to give away Sophie as a bride. Self-marriages are not legally recognised by any official bodies, but proponents say it amounts to more than “the height of Generation Selfie’s narcissism”. Alexandra Gill, a Canadian food critic who married herself in 2006, told the s…